In honor of Toby's Birthday!

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Touched by Toby
Welcome to "Touched by Toby," which has been launched by Toby Eagle's family and friends in honor of her 24th birthday on the 4th day of the Hebrew month of Nissan 5771. Many people from all over the world have written notes and expressed their thoughts about how Toby impacted their lives during the course of her 20 years on this physical earth, before she was taken from our midst on August 3, 2007 (the 19th of Menacham Av 5767). This is an opportunity to recount all of these expressions and memories in one central location, and to discover new ways in which Toby had a positive effect on people's lives.
As with everything in Judaism, our stories and experiences should not remain abstract concepts and distant memories, but should energize us to become better people and to refine the world around us with more good deeds. This will in turn elevate Toby's neshama (soul) to even greater heights in the spiritual worlds. Likewise, a person on one's birthday is imbued with tremendous power to give blessings to all those who are close to them, which derives from the extra "push" that was needed on their original birthday to convince the lofty soul to enter into a body and embark on their mission in life. As Toby's family knows, she was so eager to enter into the world on April 3, 1987 that she barely made it past the emergency room door of Mt. Sinai Hospital before she flew into our lives. May all those who are close to Toby receive the blessings they need both materially and spiritually, and above all the ultimate blessing in the month of Nissan with the coming of Moshiach.
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The date palm plant is taller than Ta!
Happy Birthday!! Love, Ma
Pop goes to shul now sometimes on Friday evening and almost every shabat, and he says it makes him feel closer to Toby and makes him feel her presence.
Whenever I was with Toby, it was in the midst of a family gathering, a joyful and fun-filled time. Toby’s innate kindness, compassion, and generosity always humbled me as I watched her give her time and attention to all around her. She volunteered to perform any necessary task, asking nothing for herself. My frequent thoughts of Toby are a reminder to me of how important it is to give of one’s self and avoid selfishness. Toby will forever be a significant role model for me. I am richer for having known Toby, a selfless, intelligent, and loving cousin. Rita Gold
I couldn’t possibly comment here on ALL of the ways I was and am touched by Toby–it could take a lifetime. But I will say that I understand Hashgacha Pretis because of her, I count the Omer because of what she taught me, I am mindful of going an extra step for another–of pushing myself to be aware of my impact on others. I think of her every day…
The spring reminds me of Toby. Maybe it’s because she was born in the spring, or maybe it’s because her upbeat and positive approach to life was as refreshing as this season. Just like a sunny day can put a smile on my face, speaking to Toby about anything—sewing, music, even Biology—would always leave me feeling happier. With Pesach around the corner, I’m reminded of her skills in the kitchen, and how her potato kugel is certainly the best kugel I’ll ever have!
The holiday of Pesach is best known for the redemption of Jews from Egypt. A lesser emphasized fact is that Pesach is Chag HaAviv, the Spring Holiday, which celebrates life and renewal. With Toby on our minds and in our hearts, I think it is a perfect time to emphasize this element of the chag and celebrate someone who really captured what it means to live. Toby was fun, smart, and a pleasure to be around. If life gave her lemons, she would round-up her siblings to help with a lemonade stand! She was an amazing older sister and an irreplaceable friend, and would always find the silver-lining of a situation.
I guess it’s not too surprising that this season reminds me of Toby, with all of the positive energy and hopeful feelings surrounding us…With Chag HaAviv around the corner, may we all try to emulate Toby’s positive approach to life and celebrate the beautiful life she lived.
Chag Sameach!
<3, Jackelyn
I knew Toby from Tizmoret (the violin ensemble led by Mark Singer). Even though I was a married and older adult participating in the group, anytime that Toby and I shared a music stand or played pieces together, she ALWAYS treated me with the greatest respect and kindness. If I felt out of place with the group, she acted as if I were “one of the gang.” This took a great deal of insight and maturity on Toby’s part. She was a giver not a taker. I smile when I think of her!
As I write from Eretz Israel, with an incoming email from another homeschooling friend, I marvel at the Hasgacha Pratis of the world. I have been wanting to write this post since I saw it available on Toby’s birthday, but there must be something significant to this day of the Omer that I am finally here. Now we are in the week of Malchut, and while Toby was in this world with us, she was always living this sefira. Always a queenly presence her whole life, as is reflected in many of the comments here. She taught me what try royalty is all about, how a Jewish girl and then woman can be in this world. Always connected to the people around her and to HaShem, modeling without pretense what our potential is.
Toby, you continue to inspire me every day. As I learn more chassidus, as I live more comfortably in my life, as I appreciate the blessings in every moment. You have always been my teacher, from when I first met you as a little girl and into the present moment.
May we merit to see the revelation of Mosiach, may we merit to see wonders every day. May our perceptions become only more refined and be able to see good in all things as you have taught us.